On rainy days I experience a warming of the soul. The pressure is off for me to be out and about. I can hunker down at home without the faint feeling of guilt or irresponsibility that lurks in the back of my mind.
I have taken up meditation lately. At first it was a means of relaxation. It allowed me a respite from the pains and anxieties of my every day life. In a sense meditation became a way for me to outsource my thinking much like a business might outsource its IT department to a managed IT services Austin. (Do not pretend you do not know what that means).
You might say that I like to escape. I take no comfort in this hectic and material morass in which we find ourselves taking up residence for 80 years or so. From time to time we might be tricked into believing that we have found a small island or oasis of calm and security. But this illusion quickly dissolves and fades away and we again find ourselves lying naked upon the rocky shores of angst beach.
There is hope of a better world beyond this one. Although lately I must admit that I contemplate more and more that death is a finality and there is nothing that waits for me on the other side except an infinite void of blackness. This leaves me feeling empty and without meaning. From there arises an anger in my heart protesting that I never asked to be here in the first place. And then a maniacal laughter seems to follow pronouncing it all an absurdity; some wicked and cruel joke.
Some one out there is toying with me and the cruelest part of it all is that there really is no me to toy with. Even I am an illusion to myself. I am the briefest spark of an illusion that has been coldheartedly outsourced to a managed IT services Austin. (Again you know what I mean).